Men Without Women, Part 7: Conclusion

A brief (I promise) recap of the series:

  1. Female spirituality is the core structure of a sustainable, equitable, harmonious social structure.
  2. Male entitlement and power-seeking behavior is the antithesis of a sustainable, equitable, harmonious social structure.
  3. If men wish to be allowed to be part of the solution (or to live through the revolution), we must turn to ourselves and begin the long and inevitably painful process of excising our entitlement and power-seeking behavior.
    • As sexuality and sex roles have become the basis of modern society, we must begin by addressing how our entitlement and power-seeking are embedded in those arenas.
  4. We must be conscious of and honest about the road which led us here in order to affect true change and keep us vigilant in the future.
  5. Voluntary relationships are the expression of human compassion, selflessness, and affirmation. Obligate relationships will not suffice, and no social or legal structure based solely on obligation is sustainable.

We began with a set of related questions: What would men be like without women to put on the brakes? What would a more sustainable society involving men and women look like? What has to happen to move toward that goal?

We’ve examined the first question: men without women. Men are dangerous creatures. If female influence is removed, we act as if we have nothing to keep our flailing, damaged genes in check. We consume everything until we consume ourselves. We create intricate hierarchies to attempt to make the illusion of power a reality. We not only victimize others, but we brainwash our victims to believe that victimization is a desirable state.

On the other hand, men have inherent spiritual natures, and we have the capability to stop trying to control everything and everyone around us and start controlling ourselves. We can become humble, and we can raise our sons without pride and arrogance. We can hone ourselves for the roles which fit us best in a sustainable society. We can show ourselves to be valuable to the women around us. We can withdraw our claws from the world and make way for a better system.

We’ve looked at the second question as well: men with women. We’ve looked at appropriate roles for men – more importantly, we’re seeing how our roles must be externally determined, as a sustainable society is one in which men are not calling the shots and assigning the roles. We’ve looked at sustainable societies in the past. We’ve considered what they will look like in the future.

The third question – how to get there – has been thorniest. It’s the one that doesn’t have a simple answer. We looked at some possibilities, like corporate bodies centered around voluntary relationships, but such approaches are artificial models of a natural state, mere emulations which do not fully realize the true process. Those emulations are baby steps on the way to the real deal.

When it comes down to it, everything that men have done and are doing to ruin the world stems from one thing: expectation.

The idea that men can control objects, resources, people, or concepts is actually the idea that men can declare that they have such control with the expectation that others around them will recognize the declaration and act in accordance.

We expect our desires to be met on demand: food, transportation, entertainment, sex, absolution. We expect our needs to be not only met, but exceeded. We expect to be lauded for existing. We expect everyone else – that is, everyone on the bottom tier, those who have been “feminized” by men – to provide these things for us, and we expect it all with little or nothing required in return.

We expect other people to respond automatically to our whims, like animals or gadgets, and so we force them into labor, into sex, into deference and chains and bowed heads and stunted growth and malnourishment, into living like animals or gadgets all day, every day, keeping us happy and staying out of sight while they do it.

The only thing we don’t expect is for others to place expectations on us. We want the cake without the consequence, and if the cake isn’t coming quickly enough, then someone better get back in the kitchen and start baking before we have to put her in her place. Don’t even think about telling us to bake our own cakes. Men kill for less, and we do it often.

Men use violence to enforce our expectations. We use the threat of violence to ensure that we do not have to actually resort to violence (unless we want to), and that, too, is violence.

What men must do – to be given roles in society, to allow sustainability and social order to grow, to develop spiritually, but most of all because it is the right thing to do and it’s about goddamn time we did it – is stop having expectations.

This is painful. Our society is founded upon male expectation. The definition of “man” in the dictionary (that I just made up which is better than the real dictionary) is “the gender role assigned to those who may act with impunity to bring their expectations to fruition”. It’s so fundamental that giving up expectation is disidentification.

We must erase ourselves and allow our identities to be rewritten by a society which we have no hand in creating.

Now imagine convincing a planet full of assholes to do that. They won’t go for it, so you have two options: baby step after baby step, slowly leading men down the path toward the goal of them not killing everyone in a fit of temper… or global revolution, deposing men everywhere and eliminating them as a threat.

There’s a slim chance that we, men, can enact a third option. It’s possible that enough of us can choose to opt out of manliness and opt into maleness that we can become useful allies to the women who are leading the global push back. It’s possible that we can add our voices and strengths, where we are given the lee to do so, and make it so impossible for men to have their expectations fulfilled that they must give up on the whole idea.  There’s a very slim chance we’ll survive.

I love this plan. I’m excited to be a part of it. Let’s do it.

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  1. #1 by SheilaG on August 11, 2010 - 6:39 PM

    Lately, I’ve been observing male behavior in groups control. Every once in awhile a woman will bring her husband or boyfriend to a woman’s event. What I notice, is that within a women’s culture, when men are the distinct minority (usually one guy and say 14 women), they sit there in silence. They say virtually nothing, and are seemingly incapable of carrying on any conversation at all in this atmosphere. Why the women bring these men is beyond me, since they contribute almost nothing to the group.

    So I think, men have really got to gather on their own and figure out how they intend to end all the rape and mayhem. I think they have to seriously work on their almost non-existent social skills, and really learn to carry on real conversations with women that don’t involve their domination.

    In women only settings, the non-violence and happiness is apparent. It’s very easy for this spiritual connection to flourish.

    Without women, I think men might have to seriously rethink just about every thing. Without stealing women’s “facilitation energy” they would have to truly converse as equals.
    At this time in evolution, I don’t think men have much of a spiritual nature at all. They have succeeded in really making the world unlivable in so many areas. They can’t even converse on women’s terms, and if they can’t even do that, what will they do to end this nightmare of male supremacy world wide?

    • #2 by 2nd Wave Man on August 16, 2010 - 9:08 AM

      Ain’t that the truth! Lone men among women either sulk or attempt to dominate the conversation. And we get cranky when we’re not having any attention paid to us, especially when we realize that we’re witnessing the sort of connections and concepts flashing between women that we never ordinarily experience in conversations where we’re active participants. And someone’s going to pay a price for slighting us by not fawning, we make sure of that.

      I think this issue deserves a post. Thank you. :D

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